Donald Trump doing a Honey G – it must be Halloween

Remember, remember the 5th of November – bangers are going off everywhere and the dog is terrified, commando-style crawling under the table. But fireworks are fun, right???

Speaking of bangers, I heard an incredible story this week about a chap who tried to smuggle some sausages out of his work canteen in an empty coffee cup. Seriously. Said gent took what he claimed was a Costa coffee cup full of hot water to the counter, only to have his bluff called by the barista who asked to see the cup’s contents. Imagine the shame of having to lift the lid, revealing a couple of Cumberland’s stashed away.

Sausages in a cup? Add some beans and it’s like a savoury 99…


Alan Partridge eats a cup of beans and sausages

So who’s a fan of Halloween? We did our bit and took the kids out trick or treating, knocking at doors and asking for sweets from strangers – neighbours whose kids I’d earlier given the same to, when they’d come knocking. I do have to give credit to one lady on our travels though, who’d prepared an impressive array of treats including cookies with iced cobwebs and chocolate mice for the tricksters. A treat indeed.

But I don’t know what’s scarier – a spotty teenager in an ill-fitting killer-clown costume trick-or-treating (seriously nipper, leave it to the kids!) or the thought that, in less than a week, Donald Trump might be President of America.

trump_0Actually I do know what’s scarier. Much, much scarier.

But it’s testament to the quality of the opposition in America that he even has a sniff. Hilary Clinton seems to be in the pocket of the FBI, with new revelations drip, drip, dripping through that she used a private email server for classified government communications during her time as Secretary of State.

honey-gThe trouble with this kind of story is the truth becomes scarcely relevant. Just the whiff of something dodgy – and I’m not talking about Donald’s hairspray – has been enough to engulf Ms Clinton in a fog of controversy. Polls are swinging in Trump’s favour – although Clinton is still thought to be the favourite. Markets are suffering a so-called -Trump tantrum’, with the value of shares dropping amid concerns Trump may actually ‘do a Honey G’ and somehow – despite a discernible lack of credibility – win the popular vote.

Whoever wins the race to the White House, I wish my American friends well – it’s a big shame Barrack can’t serve again.

But we’ve got enough to worry about over here. A quick glance at this morning’s papers would suggest the end of democracy is nigh. Or not, as the case may actually be. But that didn’t stop some newspapers (guess which ones!) getting up in arms after the High Court ruled that Parliament must vote on when the process to exit the EU can begin.

As far as I can tell, there’s no suggestion MP’s are going to contest the people’s decision to exit the EU – after all the government would have a riot on their hands if they did. But I guess a reasoned response to yesterday’s ruling wouldn’t sell the papers, hence the inflammatory rhetoric. The Sun with the standard, reasoned response to the decision, blaming ‘loaded foreign elite’ for the ruling.

Well, it is fireworks night on Saturday, after all.

And thankfully there weren’t any (fireworks) at the kid’s school this week, after it was closed due to a gas leak. How did I find out? Not from an emergency text from the school. Not from a Facebook update from a friend. But from my eight year old son, Liam, who’d received an xBox IM from his friend. Keep up Dad, your comms channels are going up in smoke.


Have a good weekend all – and stay safe. X


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