Download the App and vote for your new Prime Minister!

So there we have it. And no I’m not talking about the first photos of the new Bake Off cast. 

And if I may segue briefly, I’ve never seen Noel Fielding’s hair looking so pristine. I mean, he probably had to pop up a mountain, find a stream, dip it in and flick it about the place. Probably.

Clearly some folk are still adjusting to the departure of Mary Berry, Mel and Sue. Bless this wannabe comedian…

Three likes was way too much. But I digress.

I was of course referring to news of a ‘snap’ general election, scheduled for Thursday 8 June. Theresa May has gone back on her promise of a month ago, and decided to have an election after all. And why not because we all love a good vote, don’t we?

Personally I think the electoral voting system should be modernised. Why is it that in the 21st Century we’re still having to shuffle down to the local town hall, quickly scanning the copious lists for our address before one of the attentive but uncomfortably intense volunteers comes over and asks, “Can I help you, Sir (or Madam)?”

“Argh, no, I’m fine thanks!” Sound familiar? No, just me and my social ineptitude then.

But still, if we can vote for Matt Terry to win X Factor (I know, I had to Google him too) on an App while sitting on our sofas with a warm mulled wine in hand, why can’t we vote for our next Prime Minister in similar fashion?

I think they call that first world problems.

The Prime Minister has called a snap election despite telling her advisers a mere month ago that she wouldn’t do so. In a speech outside downing street on Tuesday, she declared that the country was coming together over Brexit, but that Parliament was not. Labour MP Yvette Cooper challenged her on both these ascertains, in this #slamdunk remark during Prime Ministers Questions on Wednesday.

Do you think the country is uniting over Brexit? I don’t. I speak to loads of people who are still very sceptical about whether we made the right decision, and whether a hard-Brexit, as is May’s wont, is the right approach. Will May really be able to get the best deal for Britain?

But in all honesty, that doesn’t really matter any more, does it? Because if May wins in June she will have even more power than she does already, and with no credible party in opposition to hold her to task, the only question she’ll be asking is ‘how hard is hard enough?’

Incidentally the press coverage of this news was, again, inflammatory at best considering half of us voted to remain. The Mail led with the headline ‘Crush the saboteurs.’ Pathetic.

But whatever your views are on May and her party, the alternatives are an utter shambles, to the point where they’re virtually unelectable. In the Labour party, there are as many politicians that oppose Jeremy Corbyn as support him while, well, can you actually name the Lib Deb leader? No, it’s not Matt Terry. The Lib Debs have been a virtual recluse of a party since their atrocious performance at the last election. Neither are going to put the fear into Theresa.

So really it was a no-brainer calling the election, because she cannot lose. Or can she?

I mean, the past 12 months has taught us that anything is possible in politics these days. The EU referendum was always going to be close, but not many people actually gave the leave campaign a chance. While Donald Trump’s victory in the US Presidential election last autumn was scarcely believable.

So, will we see the left-leaning, remain-supporting among us (me included) fight back and vote the Tories out in June?

Trouble is, a bit like X Factor, the favourite is bad enough, but the alternatives are even worse.

Here’s hoping Yvette Cooper, somehow, becomes leader of the Labour party in the next few weeks. She’d get my vote.


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