This is history repeating itself, I heard you say…definitely, maybe

I was a 16 year old geek, covered in acne and with a penchant for wearing Kappa sweatshirts, when I boarded a Condor Ferry from Jersey, bound for Knebworth.  Oasis. My band. My life. My gig. It was history for me, and 250,000 others alongside me. I was obsessed with them. I remember having a heated debate … Continue reading This is history repeating itself, I heard you say…definitely, maybe

Download the App and vote for your new Prime Minister!

So there we have it. And no I'm not talking about the first photos of the new Bake Off cast.  https://twitter.com/BritishBakeOff/status/852659046402445313 And if I may segue briefly, I've never seen Noel Fielding's hair looking so pristine. I mean, he probably had to pop up a mountain, find a stream, dip it in and flick it about the place. Probably. Clearly … Continue reading Download the App and vote for your new Prime Minister!

Why the Sun wants to ‘blow the bloody senors off’

The reason I love writing a current affairs blog is that it gives me the chance to lampoon people in power. To mock the ridiculous things they say. To call out when they get it wrong. Satire, I think they call it.   As a kid I loved Spitting Image. I wasn't particularly political, but the impressions were good and the comedy, although satirical, was also slapstick and, well, a bit silly. … Continue reading Why the Sun wants to ‘blow the bloody senors off’

I can’t quit you iPhone, but I think I better put you down for a while 

In 1999 I was a terrified 19-year-old country boy living in Tottenham. I'd left the sandy beeches of Bergerac's Island - otherwise known as Jersey - to read English at Middlesex University. I say 'read' - who am I kidding? The Oxford kids can get away with saying that. My studies majored on my liquid … Continue reading I can’t quit you iPhone, but I think I better put you down for a while 

A new year, a close shave 

I'll admit it wasn't quite Gillette advert, razor gliding smoothly across a perfectly chiselled jaw, like a cheese knife through a delicious chunk of Stilton. No, this was more like a slightly knackered Hoover, one which you have to drag over the same piece of carpet 50 times in order to pick up a thread of cotton that won't budge and you refuse to pick up.

Sorry Madonna – you can’t have moves like Jagger

I can't think of anything worse then having to deal with the sleepless nights and dirty nappies that a newborn child would bring. I know - fancy saying such a thing just weeks before we celebrate the birth of our Lord. So it is with the utmost admiration that I must congratulate Mick Jagger - a dad again at the ripe old age of 73. I'm sure his great granddaughter, 2, will look forward to some play dates with the new addition.

President Trump? I don’t know whether to ‘laugh and cry, or cry and laugh’

Wednesday morning I wake, my hand groping in the dark for my phone. Today's a big day. America will have a new President. A solitary eye opens, struggling to focus on the screen. I check Twitter. Why can't anyone just tweet the result? Ah, here it is...No...It can't be? It's Brexit all over again... 'Donald Trump to … Continue reading President Trump? I don’t know whether to ‘laugh and cry, or cry and laugh’

Donald Trump doing a Honey G – it must be Halloween

Remember, remember the 5th of November – bangers are going off everywhere and the dog is terrified, commando-style crawling under the table. But fireworks are fun, right??? Speaking of bangers, I heard an incredible story this week about a chap who tried to smuggle some sausages out of his work canteen in an empty coffee … Continue reading Donald Trump doing a Honey G – it must be Halloween

Don’t get Green – Lineker deserves freedom of tweets

I had to do a double take as I walked past a newspaper stand this morning, with Gary Lineker’s face splattered all over the front pages.  What had England’s favourite football broadcaster and self-proclaimed ‘spud-flogger’ done, I asked myself. A quick perusal of the detail made me think he’d been some kind of outspoken delinquent - … Continue reading Don’t get Green – Lineker deserves freedom of tweets